1. Clean your room. If it's already clean, thrash it. Then clean it. 2. Light up a cig. It helps you think about what to do next after smoking. 3. Counting sheep will only make you sleepy. Count the number of times they poop in a day instead. 4. Read a book. No, wait. Read a "dirty" book. 5. Watch a movie on cable or rent a dvd. Movies by film companies like Vivid are a good choice. 6. Blog-surf. Check out what other people do when they're bored. 7. Post something in your blog. If you don't have one, get one. 8. Chat with someone. Anyone. 9. Read past email messages and correct those that have wrong grammar. Even if you are the one at fault. 10. Start a new hobby, like, collecting lint from your belly-button, or make a collage of toenail clippings. 11. Take a shower. Take a LONG shower. Make sure to clean behind your ears. 12. Google search the keywords "bored," "impair productivity," and "websites." Bookmark ALL the results. 13. Unlucky. Skip this number. 14. Organize your bookmarks into categories like "bookmark 1," "bookmark 2," etc. 15. Make up a list of things you want to do before you die. Put "visit will's website" at least on number 2. 16. Donate to the poverty- and calamity-stricken. You have to do at least one good deed anyway. 17. Rant about how Dubya screwed up in helping out calamity-stricken States. 18. Wonder where those people who voted for Dubya are. 19. Wonder if those people who voted for Dubya can still sleep at night. 20. Do some more Blog-surfing. Take what you want. Leave what you don't like. Enlighten yourself. 21. I don't like this number. Skip this. 22. Geoff's birthday. Oops. I thought this was a date. Greet everyone a happy birthday then. Belated or in advance, it doesn't matter, as long as you remembered. 23. Google search the keywords "clubber," "vaseline," and "implants." Visit every single hit it returns. 24. Do something risky. Make a crank call. 25. Slide down a stairs handrails. Repeat until your bum is burned. 26. Paint the town red. Make sure the cops don't get you. 27. Be creative. Paint the town green instead. Or purple. 28. Lather, rinse, repeat. Until the sun goes down. 29. Wear your undies over your head and run through the office corridors, shouting "I'm growing my hair curly!" 30. Rub toilet paper on your balding pate. They say toilet paper helps hair grow faster. Just look at your a-hole.