I’m half of a septuagenarian already but it is only now that I ask myself profound questions that doesn’t force me to think of an answer of the wise-ass kind.

Ten years ago, I think, in a job interview, I was asked what I see myself doing five years from then. I always had a canned response of someday being one of the supervisors or managers of the company I was trying to get into. That, or owning and managing my own business.

At one point, I had this delusion of becoming a rock star playing the guitar in a rock band. A few years passed and a few grand spent, and I got nothing to show for it. I feel embarrassed as I remember what I was doing back then. And this was a VERY LONG time ago.

I also thought I can make it in the digital age by becoming a digital graphic artist, learning the tools of the trade that is Corel Draw and Photoshop. Or become a mountaineer, climbing all sorts of peaks and trudging through valleys for Discovery Channel. Yeah, I want my fifteen minutes of fame. I’m not really sure if I have ADD or something because I easily get distracted by a new gadget or some other weird stuff; I lose interest easily. Also, mountaineering got in the way of my smoking, so I quit mountaineering. I occasionally go hiking at least once a year, though, so quitting mountaineering isn’t really set in stone.

Then, more delusions of grandeur in the digital age crept up my mind by way of becoming a professional blogger. Yeah, the cause of this blog. Unfortunately, I’m a friggin’ introvert, and the only way I interact with other people socially is through the anonymity of a username and an avatar. And that’s basically the reason I don’t attend events and other PR-related stuff. That, and lack of money and time.

Fast forward to today and I take look at what I’ve been doing. I got married. My wife gave birth to a son that I shall refer to from this point on as Willspawn. I get by one day at a time, paying the bills and providing for my family, to the best of my capability, along the way. The downside of my current profession is that I work at nights, effectively killing off any kind of social life. Oh yes, I can make time to go out and enjoy what people-with-regular-working-hours have, but at this stage of my life, sleep is a rare commodity highly prioritized and taken advantage of in every chance presented.

Ten years ago, I basically lied my ass off in that job interview. I lied NOT to the company, but to myself. I should have my own business right now. I should be the boss already. I should be thriving on my own. A lot of should-have’s, but not enough of what-is’s.

Today marks not only my 35th birthday, but also an alarm clock going off telling me that I have five more years left before my life “begins.” I want to know if life truly begins at 40. And I want to be prepared to do anything and everything I want to do when that time comes. That is, if I live long enough past it to enjoy it.

In the meantime, I think I’ll just ramble on… sing my song…